By Dawn Kelley
I’ve always had a general plan for my life. As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be in ministry, specifically music ministry. It was fantastic knowing what I wanted to do so young and working towards that goal all my life. Frankly, I love to get stuff done and when I’m on a mission, people step out of my way or incur my wrath. Lord, help the person who interrupts me! But lately, God has been the one interrupting me. I will have a well-laid out plan, pat myself on the back for being so together, go to put it in action only to find I’m missing a huge portion of what it takes to accomplish my goal: God’s blessing.
Actually, God has disrupted my plans more times than I am capable of admitting. I’ve been completely focused on a task at hand, enacting it through sheer will power, but missing valuable spiritual lessons in the disappointments. Failure was not an option because disappointment was not factored into my plan. Obviously, humility wasn’t either.
So, it wasn’t until I began some honest self-reflection and experienced those disappointments to their fullest when I realized God had a higher plan and was foiling my plans on purpose. At first, I did not handle these disruptions well. It was disorienting for things to not work out as I envisioned. On top of that, I had to admit my goal was not necessarily God’s goal. The process of humbling myself in God’s overall plan was definitely not in my original plans. I’m embarrassed to say; Isaiah’s words eerily resonate with me:
“What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator. Does a clay pot argue with its maker? Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, ‘Stop, you’re doing it wrong!” (Isaiah 45:9, NLT)
What kind of person has the audacity to say, “Stop, God! You are doing it all wrong!” Well… me. And most likely, every one of us at some point. When I think back on the wasted years I spent either circumventing God or just being downright defiant, I am ashamed. At the very least, I would have spent less effort accomplishing those tasks by trusting His sovereignty and relying on His infinite power.
Thankfully, by God’s good grace, He spoiled my plans and proved Himself faithful to recreate me. I am glad He does not worry about sparing my pride and will go to some pretty extreme methods to form me into exactly what He wants me to be. I am thankful that all I have to do to be useful for Him is to be surrendered to Him.
Don’t get me wrong, I still like to call the shots, and I still get angry with God when it doesn’t turn out like I planned. This aspect of my personality may always be my battle until Christ returns and makes me completely without blemish. But He is working in me and I don’t stay angry as long as I once did. As I submit – prayerfully discern what He wants every day, work the plan daily and trust Him with the outcome – He proves faithful every time and it becomes easier each time to trust Him with the disappointments. This process – while humiliating at times – is so much easier than fighting the Creator of the universe; and it just so happens to turn out better than any grand plan I could come up with because He masterfully thinks of everything when crafting His plan. I have learned to trust Him to create something much more beautiful than I could have crafted on my own.
Will you pray this prayer with me: Heavenly Father – Creator – grant me repentance for believing my plans are greater than Yours. I humbly submit to Your process as Your creation. I gratefully thank You for caring more about what I am than what I can accomplish. Thank you for not being scared of my anger towards You, risking rejection from me, and crushing this earthly clay – myself – to reshape me until I am fit for good use. Continue this process until Your Kingdom comes and Your plan is accomplished in my life.
Led by Dwayne Moore and the NLW team, our ReNEW Worship Conferences are a two day worship and growth experience for worship teams.
These events are hosted in different regions by a local church, for the local church!